What to do When Your Child is Missing!

What to do when your child is missing! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!! ...This is very important... You are the vital link to your child. You are the one who can motivate others to look for your child. You must take care of yourself so you can have the strength to search for your child. Please... eat well, sleep, keep in contact with family and friends, find a way to relax and exercise. Don't feel guilty about doing any of these things. You need to hold on to your sanity and stay healthy and strong for the day your child returns home. "All of us, at certain moments of our lives, need to take advice and to receive help from other people." Alexis Carrel GET HELP FROM FRIENDS, FAMILY and TEAM HOPE People want to help but they often don't know what to do. Give them tasks – don’t wait for them to ask. They can help with phone calls, completing forms, mailing flyers, reaching out to the media, making certain you take care of yourself, etc. Contact Team HOPE for emotional support, empowerment, resources and assistance. "After the verb 'to Love,' 'to Help' is the most beautiful verb in the world." Bertha von Suttner Last but not least, remain calm and avoid negative people. These pages are filled with many suggestions for the search for your child; get help from a Team HOPE volunteer. Call us toll free at 1-866-305-HOPE (4673) Contact local law enforcement Bring custody papers and all other relevant court orders with you when you go to the police department to report your child missing. Provide the police with a recent photo of your child and the abductor. (Your child’s photo will be more effective if it is a recent photo where your child is pictured in a natural, full frontal pose. If you don’t have a photo of the abductor, ask family and friends, hopefully someone will have a photo. Photos of the abductor with and without facial hair, different hair styles or with and without glasses are most helpful. Bring copies of those to the police department as well. Please make certain that you retain copies of every photo for your records and further submissions. Never surrender up your last copy of any photo. Write down the police officer’s name, badge number, telephone number and police report number. Keep a notebook and record all information on the investigation and your search. Always note the date, the name of the agency, the person you spoke with, what they said and their contact information. Be certain that your child is entered into NCIC (National Crime Information Computer). It is imperative that your child be entered here so other law enforcement agencies will know your child is reported missing in the event that your child is spotted. After your child is entered into NCIC, request a copy so you can review it for accuracy. It is extremely important that all data is correct. Record the NCIC number in your notebook, you will need it. Maintain and nurture a good working relationship with law enforcement. Keep lines of communication open with your investigating officer. Make certain that your investigating officer has all your contact numbers and is able to reach you at all times. Supply law enforcement with any and all information that is known to you about the abductor. Be proactive in the search. You are the driving force behind the search for your child(ren). Supply law enforcement with a complete list of the abductor’s relatives, friends, neighbors, employers (past and present), co-workers, and anyone with whom the abductor has ever had contact. If you contact the abductor’s personal connections yourself, be careful not to alienate them. If their answers or demeanor seem suspicious to you, contact your investigating officer. Remember, you know or knew the abductor well. Sit down with a piece of paper and pen and write down everything you know about him/her; habits, hobbies, where he/she liked to go, the type of climate he/she prefers -- anything and everything you can think of. It might help lead you in the right direction. “You are in charge of your feelings, beliefs, and actions. And you teach others how to behave toward you. While you cannot change other people, you can influence them through your own behaviors and actions. By being a living role model of what you want to receive from others, you create more of what you want in your life." Eric Allenbaugh UCCJA - Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act This Act avoids jurisdictional competition and conflict with courts from other states in matters of child custody. The home state from which the child was abducted assumes jurisdiction. This act is enacted when a spouse runs off with a child and the remaining parent instigates divorce proceedings and obtains a UCCJA which grants temporary custody. The physical presence of the child, although desirable, is not a prerequisite for jurisdiction to determine his/her custody. This act also promotes cooperation with the courts of other states in that a custody decree is rendered in the state which can best decide the case in the interest of the child. Lastly, this act assures that litigation concerning the custody of the child usually takes place in the state with which the child and his family have the closest connection. Parent Locator Service This service is for custodial parents only. Contact the local US Assistant Attorney(USAA) at your Federal Courthouse. Send the USAA a copy of your court papers, including divorce and custody decrees. The PLS will then contact the Justice Department who determines if the PLS should become involved in the case of your missing child. The USAA will need the following information : Social Security Numbers of the absent parent and child. If the absent parent was ever a member of the Armed Services. If the absent parent is receiving or has ever received Federal Compensation benefits. Any information regarding recent whereabouts of the absent parent and child. Copy of Final Judgment of Dissolution granting you custody of the child. Date and place of birth of the abducting parent. Under the Federal Parent Kidnapping Act of December, 1980, the PLS must help you restore your rights of custody. If you need further information, please contact Office of Child Support Enforcement-FPLS, 330 "C" Street SW, #2518, Washington, DC 20201 “We first must think "I can," then behave appropriately along that line of thought." Marsha Sinetar Court Orders Obtain an order for custody of your child if you do not already have legal custody. Seek the assistance of an attorney. If you do not have an attorney get a recommendation from your State Missing Children Clearinghouse, local non-profit missing children’s organization, AMECO (The Association of Missing & Exploited Children’s Organization), Local and State Bar Association and/or The American Bar Association, Section of Family Law (312) 988-5603. Speak with your attorney about a pick-up order as quickly as possible after the child is taken. In various jurisdictions this order will have different names - Writ of Habeas Corpus, Writ of Attachment, Writ of Enforcement, Writ in lieu of Habeas, Pick-up order, Juvenile Warrant. Please note that the motion must stress the exact purpose of the order: to enable law enforcement to physically remove a child and return him/her to the custodial parent. Too often the parent doesn't realize they need this until the child is located and can't be picked up . . . this creates an emergency situation and can be a nightmare, especially if there is an intervening weekend or holiday. It’s imperative that the Writ be jurisdictionally non-specific ... in other words it should not be directed to any specific jurisdiction, but rather "wherever the child is found". When it's directed specifically it is of no use if the child isn't found there. Criminal Charges Consider asking the police or prosecutor to file criminal charges against the abductor. Without a warrant, law enforcement and missing children agencies will not be able to include the photo of the abductor on the flyer. Law enforcement will not investigate and search for the abductor. If the abductor is charged with a felony, be certain that the felony warrant is entered into the NCIC and ask that this entry be cross-referenced to the NCIC-MPF entry for your child. Ask the local prosecutor for a federal Unlawful Flight to Avoid Prosecution (UFAP) warrant if the abductor has left the state to avoid felony prosecution. Pictures Keep track of your original photographs of your child and the abductor (if available). Put them in a safe easily accessible place in your home. Have at least twenty (20) copies made of each pose. If you do not have the negatives, copies can be made from the photographs in your possession. If you do not have a photograph of the abductor, ask family and friends if they have one. Have the photographs scanned for use on the computer "When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." Henry Ford Missing Children Clearinghouses and other non-profit agencies will offer assistance Call the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) toll-free Hotline at 1-800-The-Lost Contact the Missing Children Clearinghouse in your State and the States where you believe your child might have been taken to. (Links are on the resource page.) Contact non-profit missing children’s organizations. (Links are on the resource page.) Each organization will ask you to fill out their applications and send them photographs. If you have access to a fax machine, request that they fax the application to you in order to save time. Try to supply them with photos of your child(ren) in full frontal view. Please be sure to retain copies of the photograph you send to them. Flyers The law enforcement and missing children organizations will make flyers for you. However, you are able to make flyers yourself at the following website: www.beyondmissing.com For ideas on where to distribute flyers, contact a Team HOPE volunteer at 1-866-305-HOPE (4673). Telephone Use an answering machine or voice mail so you won’t miss a call if your child has an opportunity to contact you. (Voice mail is preferable because it doesn't go out in power failures or storms – also easy to save the messages for lengthy time periods) Leave an outgoing message on your answering machine for your child(ren): reassure them that you love them, tell them to let you know where they are if they know, tell them to call 911, tell them everything is going to be okay. If you don’t already have it, get call waiting on your phone. It allows you to answer any call that comes in so your line is always open and never busy. Get Caller ID if you don’t already have it. Have a trap put on your phone for calls that come through as unavailable. Call your phone carrier to for more information. Phone log - keep a telephone log - something as simple as a spiral notebook will do. Write down all calls made and received, whom you talk to - noting the date and time and a few notes about what you discussed. It is so easy to forget the agencies and people you’ve talked to and who said what in stressful times. Your Child(ren)’s records Contact the school and advise them of the abduction. Ask them if there was a request for records and advise them that if there is a request for records to contact you and/or the police. Contact your child(ren)’s physicians (pediatrician, eye doctor, dentist, etc.). Advise them of the abduction. Ask them if there was a request for records and advise them that if there is a request for records to contact you and/or the police. Contact the Bureau of Vital Statistics and put a hold on your child(ren)’s birth certificate. Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have." Norman Vincent Peale Private Investigators or anyone asking for money. People may approach you or you may contact people who assure you that they will find your child for a fee. No one can assure you that they will find your child. Be very careful. Before you retain anyone or pay anyone, have them checked out thoroughly by your attorney, law enforcement or someone whom you trust. Get help from friends and relatives Friends and family want to help, but they don’t know what to do. Give them tasks: help filling out applications to missing children non-profit agencies; distributing flyers; contacting the media – TV, newspapers, magazines, radio; assist with searches on the internet; contact National PTA, schools, churches, synagogues, trucking companies (for flyer distribution), campgrounds, motel/hotel chains, etc. MEDIA Use the Media. They are excellent tool for keeping your story in the public eye. This is an excellent way to get family and friends involved. Contact TV and radio stations. Obtain their e-mail addresses. Synchronize mailings with friends and families. If the media receive many requests at one time, you may have a better chance of being aired. Hold a candlelight vigil. Ask your child’s school and friends to write letters to the media, politicians and circulate flyers on line. Ask everyone you know to put a flyer in the back windows of their cars. Call in song requests with your child’s favorite song to radio stations, perhaps they will let you tell your story. Have friends and family do the same. STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE The continuing search Keep hope in your heart. Seek long term support from Team HOPE, family and friends. Avoid negative forces. Continue to keep a journal. Stay in touch with authorities. Nurture law enforcement and media relationships. Take care of yourself EVERY DAY IS A ROLLER COASTER Each day is a struggle. A great deal of the time you won't get the cooperation you want. You will get frustrated because the search for your child doesn’t seem nearly as important to others as it is to you. Sightings and leads frequently prove to be dead ends. When you feel like you are at the end of your rope, step back, take a walk, reach out, call a friend or relative, refresh yourself, call to speak with a Team HOPE volunteer. Please remember – today you are one day closer to recovering your child. We realize that this is very overwhelming for you. We know. We’ve gone through this agonizing process. Please call us toll free at 1-866-305-HOPE (4673). You will be matched to a volunteer who will help you through this process and give you more suggestions on what to do when your child is missing.

Team HOPE
(Help Offering Parents Empowerment)

TeamHOPE@NCMEC.org
1-866-305-HOPE (4673)